A Few Thoughts On Father’s Day
Guest Post By Justin Connors
The articles have been written, top 10 lists compiled and gifts have been bought. Fathers Day is here yet again. I always get contemplative around this time of the year because the online world pumps articles about Dads for almost the entire month of June. (In fact I wrote a top 10 gift idea list for TopDaddies.com!). Through the noise I circle back to my own life and my thoughts on being a father.
I can’t help but think about the task I have been given in raising two beautiful children. Teaching them love, respect for others, how to live in this world, how to love their enemies, turn the other cheek, character, integrity… a never-ending stream of lessons. Fatherhood is real and it is important and I learned something about it recently.
We were driving in the car on a rainy day that was miserable, and consequently so was I. My wife said something to me that I took entirely out of context and I sarcastically retorted in a not nice way. Tears start flowing in the backseat.
“I DON’T WANT DADDY AND MOMMY TO FIGHT”
Gut wrenching words that will stop any Dad in his tracks. On top of that, now everyone in the entire car was miserable because of me. My actions ruined an otherwise great day (in my kids minds) and more importantly they saw me treat the woman I love with a complete lack of respect and love. Their Mother.
I can teach all of the lessons I want, say all the right words, always be there at important events, but what happens when I, their Daddy, don’t back up my words with actions? Kids will often forget every single word you say to them, but they sure as heck will remember the things you did, the way you reacted when the waitress got your order wrong, the way you forgive someone who has wronged you, and yes the way you speak to their Mother.
Do unto others.. an old adage, but it never really kicked into my brain how important it was until I was a father.
Later that night I pop into Hannah’s room to make sure we are still good:
“Hannah, I want you to know that I love you”
“I love you too Daddy”
“I’m sorry how I spoke to your mother, she didn’t deserve Daddy to be mean because he was grumpy”
“Daddy, I don’t want you to fight with Mommy”
“I know baby, I know. I’m Sorry, Sometimes even Daddy’s make mistakes”
“I know Daddy.”
The forgiveness that children possess will always amaze me.
I realize this is a pretty heavy subject for fathers day but being a Dad is a heavy responsibility. We are human, we are going to mess up, and we are guaranteed to fail sometimes. But something I have learned in my 7 years as a father is that the failure does not matter as much as how you react and put things back together AFTER the failure.
To all of the Dad’s working hard, you got this. Love your wife, Love your kids, always put things into perspective and never play the comparison game. Being a Dad is a tough job and it is bound to bring challenges. But we can’t give up. There is too much at stake… The future of the world is in our hands.
Happy Fathers Day.